Pertinacity, Passion and Regalement

I got word yesterday that my grandpa (with Alzheimer's) has about completely shut down.  I'm guessing it'll be within the coming weeks.  It's weird, of course it leaves me feeling a little unsettled, but although something like this with Alzheimer's doesn't happen so precipitously, it's not like I'm not at least a little prepared for it.

Oddly though, I don't really feel that sad.  In fact, I feel a lot worse for my mom and how she'll deal with it, particularly because it's near the holidays and I just get the feeling that it'll affect her more as a consequence.

But the real reason I am writing is because of this:

When things like these happen, there is a general reaction that most people have.  Often, it's a rather morose and you feel rather powerless about the impending fate.  Some people cry, have trouble doing other activities, etc.  But what happens when you don't?  Is it something to feel guilty over?  What happens when you pretty much can ignore the situation and live your life as it was, and should you?

I'll be home in a few days, which means a couple of things.  One, I'll be closer to the situation, and more importantly, other people affected by the situation, which could affect how I perceive the situation.  However, I'll be back home with a lot of my friends over a full week, something I've been looking forward to for a while.  Obviously, things won't be exactly as I planned, especially if he dies over the next week.  So, it's like, what, I go to a funeral, comfort my mom and then go out and wrecked?  It just doesn't sound right, but at the same time, I don't see this being something that would ruin my ability to concentrate (and thus, have fun) for a whole week either.

It's become pretty obvious to me recently, even before this, that I've become pretty jaded over the last few years.

I've realized that I'm at the point right now where I am going to have to make a decision that sends me in one destinctive direction or another.  Actually, I feel like just about every major aspect of my life is at a crossroads.  In one sense, I have just about everything I am looking for, but the other side of me knows there needs to be a major overhaul about how I think about life and of what I value.  Values, afterall, make the man.  Right now, my priorities fit neatly into two completely separate closets.  I paint these two completely different visions in my head of what I want out of life, but live in the turmoil of their dichotomous, fractured mold.  I'm living the double-life of Will Hunting.

My friend Dan Scott got N64.  It's the most awesome fucking thing ever.  Playing old, classic games like Bond and Mario Kart really brought me back to my freshman year of college.  Fuck PS3 and Wii, and all that Halo shit.  Like really, hanging out in Pancake's room bullshitting, drinking and playing video games was the life, and apparently it still is.

So I got fed up with FAFSA (federal student aid) and my school being too stupid to get my loan processed and I went to Chase today.  I was talking to a personal banker, but had to do most of the official work over the phone.  After about a half an hour of deciding on how much to take out, rates and other general information, my phone session concluded with the lady I was speaking to saying:

"Thank you very much Mr. Vowinkel.  We truly appreciate your interest."

I had to try real hard to not burst out laughing when she said that.  I think it is ironic enough that they even use the word interest in a loan conversation,  but appreciate too?  Come on!

I've ran into some people recently that have pissed me off:

The other day I saw this guy (a friend of a friend) who had a shirt on with the following acronym:

Cash
Rules
Everything
About
Me

It was apparently mocking the T-shirt by the rock group Cream.  But seriously, why the fuck would you want to announce to the world that you are a mindless automaton who's every thought and priority is manipulated by a superficial, exterior force, and then boast about it like it is some sort of accomplishment.  It's like, "Wow, I can't believe that guy likes money so much that he can't think of anything else.  I wish I could be like that."

Then earlier today, I heard someone reproach a stranger for using the word "disabled" to describe a physically handicapped person.  The rebuke went something like:

"What's wrong with you?  They are to be referred to as handiCAPABLE.  Physical differences do not disable a person from anything.  In fact, they are more capable than most of us."

I don't even know where to start with this.  Outside of the obvious false claims in her little rant, I think using a euphemism that contradicts the very characteristic one is describing does little more than to mock the subject of your speech.  Why not just get it over with and call them Supermen or Spartans.  Or lets call gays heterosexuals.  And then prisons "lovable genius societies."  When you think about it, these extreme euphemisms only tend to draw more conscious attention to the disability, whereas the tradional words tend to just blend in a lot easier.  Also, by changing the word, you are implying that there is something wrong with being disabled and that we need to hide it.  If I were handicapped, I'd honestly feel offended if someone called me that, just as I do if someone goes on about how good I am at something that they and I both know I suck at.

 I really wanted to post an entry about August, because it was pretty damn eventful, but I decided to make some predictions first.

I like just about everything except for the top couple of teams in each conference.  They're too boring.   But anyway, here's the future:

NFC North

Chicago (12-4)- I'm not sold on this team and was honestly shocked that I had them coming out with 12 wins when I went through week-by-week.  But they are the safe pick and their schedule isn't anything too scary, so I'll go with them.  They will not be the team they were last year though.  I don't know who, but someone will dethroan them of their NFC crown.  Losing Rivera is a subtraction, no matter how you spin it.  And Briggs looks to be a walking disaster.  His hold out will prove to demote the Bears from their top-ranked defense into the Brian Urlacher Show.

Green Bay (9-7)- Nope.  I don't live in GB, so it can't be.  Again, easy schedule.  I say they split with the Bears and take the rest of the division (the game at Detroit is on prime-time TV, Thanksgiving, and Favre will rise to the occasion).  They've essentially got the team they had last year, which ordinarily isn't a compliment.  But considering the youth of this team's starters, most of their players will only be better.  RB is a potential problem, but I'm optomistic  about the O-line, and as long as Driver's injury isn't serious, the receiving corps is solid, so Favre can manage the game as opposed to HAVING to go out and try to be a hero.

Detroit (6-10)- 10 wins Jon Kitna?  Really?  Did you think for a second that you were still in Cincinnati?  Your defense doesn't exist and your offense has too many questions.  Tatum Bell is not your answer.  Calvin Johnson will be a nice edition, albeit, not a season-changing one.....yet.

Minnesota (4-12)- Tavaris Jackson won't do it.  Loss of the D-Coordinator to Pitt, so that side of the ball probably won't improve.  I like Peterson, but I just don't see it Minnesota.  I know this is a weak division, but a pretty big reason it is such is due to Minnesota.  I'm going to enjoy every single loss.  Purple is a girl's color anyway.

NFC East

I hate it that all I get out here are games from this division.

Dallas (10-6)- Yeah, I know, boring and typical.  Solid receivers, good running game, respectable O-line.  Tony Romo sucks, but he's no Grossman or Eli, so he won't fuck this up too bad.  With Philips overseeing the D-side of things, this team is balanced, and even TO might shut up for a game or two.

Washington (8-8)- Jason Campbell will show that he deserves to start for this team.  He won't shock anyone, but he'll fit the bill.  The defense should be good and Joe Gibbs will find a way to nurse this team back to mediocrity.  I worry about the fact that they only had one pickin the first four rounds of this year's draft, but that'll bite them later.  Landry should be fun to watch.

Philadelphia (7-9) Hmmm.....five weeks of good football before McNabb goes down and someone gets hurt at the LB position, making the Trotter decision look absolutely horrible.  Then the Boo-Birds will go on a hate streak that involves punching old ladies in the gut.  Andy Reid will resign and his sons will break out of prison and continue running this disaster.  I thought TO was the big problem on this team in 2005, and I'm not denying that he contributed to all the crap that went on, but it was really just symptomatic of a much deeper chaos.

New York Giants (6-10)- This might be generous.  Being in the Bronx, I saw how Tiki carried this team entirely last year.  Droughns may be ok, and I don't think he'll be bad, but he can't replace the void at RB enough to make up for the mistakes that Manning will make.  Who knows, maybe Eli will finally be forced to step up, but I just don't have confidence in him yet.  And Strahan, well, he can go screw himself.  Not a Giants fan, but grow up!  You're just hurting your team.

NFC South

This division will be weak as your great-grandmother.

New Orleans (12-4)- Again I find myself disappointed to have them so high.  They could be due for a letdown, but I just don't see how they lose more games than anyone in their division with the amount of weapons they have on their team.

Tampa Bay (9-7)- With the Caddy back in the garage and some youth on D-line in Adams, this team should rebound.  Simms or Garcia, either way, it'll be much better than Gradkowski.  Again, more wins because of a weak division.

Carolina (4-12)- Every year, I seem to think they'll be good, but I end up realizing that they just have talented players that get hurt a lot and don't gel.

Atlanta (3-13)- I want it said for the record that I had them in this position BEFORE all this dogfighting bullshit happened this summer.  In fact, I think Harrington is an upgrade, and they are better without Vick.  It could go either way, but I feel like the controversy and burden the team will go through until Vick is actually sentenced will affect their concentration in a new system.  But who knows, if Petrino is smart enough, he can use all of this to bring the team together and they might be respectable this year.

NFC West

This division is much improved.  They are, in fact, the best in the NFC.

St. Louis (11-5)- They're draft didn't bring in any playmakers who'll take our breath away immediately, but it was solid and filled in a lot of the gaps in between the superstars they already have.  If Tory Holt is healthy, I see them winning the division.  Scott Linehan is doing good things with this team.

San Francisco (10-6)- I really, really, really like this team and they could do some amazing things this year, but I still feel like they are a year away from being a force in this conference.  Baby steps guys.

Seattle (8-8)- On paper they should be a runaway with the division, and they seem to play well in the playoffs, and maybe it's just optomism, but I see this team not being able to handle the shock that their division games are no longer six additional bye-weeks.

Arizona (7-9)- I might be overrating this team, but they have major offensive pieces.  I've been looking for them to break-out for a while now, but it just hasn't happened.  Now, I feel like they are finally capable of doing so (like the Saints did last year), but it's too little too late in a tough division and with an overall rough schedule.

AFC East

New England (10-6)- The yucky Patriots will probably be able to hold up this year.  Though I do feel that they are on a downward journey, albeit a slow one.  Kind of odd to say, considering they had a good draft and an outstanding offseason in free agency and trades, but something tells me that they won't be the tour de force everyone thinks they will be.  They've always won without hitting the market too hard for proven stars, and I just feel like it's going to backfire for them.  Maybe I'm wrong, but damnit I want to be right.

Miami (9-7)- Ronnie Brown.  Ronnie Brown.  Ronnie Brown.

New York Jets (9-7)- This is me waffling.  I have one urge saying that Mangini-land will sweep the east coast of their stubborn feet, but again, I have this intution telling me to not believe a word of it.  I feel like much of last years success had to do with the vigor that Mangini brought, in contrast to boring Ole Edwards.  The motivational words will bring less vigor and people will be more prepared for the tricks he brings to the field.  I just can't see Chad having two good, injury-free seasons in a row.  Again, I'm waffling on this, but I can't fully convince myself the the J-E-T-S will be that bad this year.

Buffalo (3-13)- J.P. Losman. J.P. Losman. J.P. Losman.  Nope, sorry, it doesn't work that way for you guys.  Have fun sucking.

AFC North

A fun division with lots of good rivalries.

Cincinnati (11-5)- The Ocho Cinco with a healthy Palmer should make for a good team.  This is a reasonably tough division, but I feel like the Bengles have the most talent and fire-power.  If they can find a way to get beyond the convict class of 2006 and just go out and have some fun, I think they get the job done, and might even get a bye in the playoffs out of it.

Pittsburgh (8-8)- I could see this team being really good.  It really depends on the defense and how everyone fits into the new system.  But the team worked well in it's old system, and without making the correct adjustments, they might have a year or so before succeeding in it.  Ben will be much better this year, but the schedule is really tough and I see them falling just short of a playoff spot.

Baltimore (8-8)- McGahee, nice.  Defense, nice.  McNair, IR.  Yeah Baltimore, I'm a hater.

Cleveland (5-11)- Every year I feel like they are a year away from being really good.  Maybe with Quinn, they finally have a QB that can run a team and I could see them being in the playoffs next year.

AFC South

Indianapolis (10-6)- With all the emotion and "we finally got it" that happened last year after winning the Superbowl, I feel they will suffer a similar hangover to the one that Pittsburgh did last year.  But they have Peyton, so they'll make the playoffs.

Houston (9-7)- This team is starting to come together.  If Schaub can stay on his feet, they should be able to win some games.  This defense could surprise people.  Dare I say that this will be the Texans' first trip into the depths of January?

Jaksonville (8-8)- Leftwich?  Garrard?  That was a messed up situation for nothing, considering Leftwich is the projected season starter.  They are a good team with a good coach, but I don't think it'll be enough.  With a good passing QB, this team might be really good, but I don't see that anytime in the team's near future.

Tennessee (7-9) Probably six of these wins will be Young's doing alone.  Outside of him, I struggle to see where this franchise is going.

AFC West

San Diego (12-4)- I know, I know, shocking.  If the Bolts don't make it to the AFC championship game, Turner won't be around any long than Shell was his second time around with the Raiders.

Denver (12-4)- Jay Cutler will have success and if Travis Henry stays healthy, they''ll be really tough to beat with Dre Bly and Champ Bailey protecting the other endzone.

Kansas City (6-10)- This team has some serious issues, and if Johnson's holdout ends up getting him injured, this team is seriously screwed.  They have serious QB issues, TG is about done and this defense won't be good enough to handle the pressure.  Good Job Herm Edwards.  You've reinvented the Jets of 2005.

Oakland (5-11)- As with Cleveland, this record doesn't indicate the things to come in the future.  The defense is getting real good and maybe Kiffin can turn this franchise around.  Russell wouldn't be any better than Culpepper is now, so that's not really a loss right now.  We'll see, but at the end of the day, they are still going to be the second worst team in the AFC.

Playoff Predictions:

NFC

Wild Card Round

St. Louis over Tampa Bay
Green Bay over Dallas

Divisional Round

New Orleans over Green Bay
St. Louis over Chicago

Conference Championship Game

St. Louis over New Orleans

AFC

Wild Card Round

New England over Houston
Denver over Indianapolis (finally!)

Divisional Round

San Diego over Denver
New England over Cincinnati

Conference Championship Game

San Diego over New England

Superbowl XLII

I'll go out on a limb, and I really do mean that with Norv Turner coaching, and say the Bolts win it all over St. Louis.